Christmas Game Night

Who needs Santa when you have friends like we do?? Christmas night, we had a few of our nearest and dearest friends over to wind down the holiday with a little bit of Cards Against Humanity, a little bit of Rock Band, and a whole lotta laughter and booze (well..milk and water for me).

 

I have to give a special shout-out to my girls because they totally wrapped all of my Christmas presents for me before we officially started game night. I mean ALL of them. (And quit judging - procrastinating is efficient.) Such cute lil' elves:

 

Ugh...I can't believe us girls even claim these losers:

 

#cameltub2015or2016

Cards Against Humanity went on for quite awhile.  There was something about "high five bro" for "eating the last known bison" something, something that just had me tickled to death. And I was amazed at how many cards that us girls had to Google. And kids, I do not recommend googling "bukkake" - I'm still confused by this whole concept. Public schooling has failed us in more ways than one...

 

 

Several grape-bombs (sprite-bombs for the preggers) later, the crew got brave enough to dominate some Rock Band. This is when I went to bed. Y'all-if this wasn't a test of motherhood, I'm not sure what is.  I slept through that ruckus like a total pro. Well...until about 4 or 5ish in the morning...when I woke up for my umpteenth pee and the entire house was shaking like Oak Ridge had just been bombed. Momma Mo sent Josh some hate-texts, and he told everyone to go to bed. And thankfully they did.

 

 

Words do not even begin to describe my love for this extended family of mine. In fact, I love them so much...I'll even refrain from posting the secret Rock Band videos I took.  Don't quit your day-jobs, friends. Cheers :)

 



Maternity Monday: Mini-Shower

This past weekend, Josh and I visited my family down in Greenville, SC. In between all of my sleeping and napping, my sister put together a sweet, little "mini-shower." We kicked the boys out of the house, so we could enjoy a great afternoon filled with yummy treats and girly gossip.

 

**On a side-note, not so shockingly, the boys also had a fantastic afternoon as they ended up at Twin Peaks...go figure.

 

The girls consisted of my mom, my sister, my fabulous Aunt Cindy, and our good friend, Lauren:

 

 

Kara whipped together quite the spread - I mean, she's practically a professional at this point. We enjoyed chicken salad sandwiches, fruit, mimosas (minus the champagne for me), and cheese and crackers (always a crowd favorite). I offered to bring the plasticware, but Kara had something much better in mind. Check out how cute our set-up was:

 

 

Also, I learned of a new food - the "petit four" (or petifore or petit fore or pedifort depending on how bad of a googler you are). At first, I thought Kara was headed out early that morning to get herself a pedicure, and I was a tad bit offended that she would leave her preggers little sister out.  But the petit fours proved to be much better than some fresh toe polish:

 

Jace got hooked up with some great presents.  I loooove the wall hangings that my mom and sister put together for me.  And check out my other presents!! I'd say it was not too shabby for a mini-shower:

 

 

The Wheelers' wiener pups, Bella and Gracie, even participated in the get-together. Check out that cute little outfit on the bottom right.

 

We got a few more pictures before Aunt Cindy had to head back to Charlotte:

 

What a cute and fun time! So much so that I immediately had to take my second nap of the day after everyone left.  All I know is that it sure means the world to me that Baby Jace has so much love and support already. 6-7ish weeks until we get to meet that little goober.  Until then, lots and lots of naps :)

 

 

 

 

 



Christmas With the In-Laws

Hoping everyone had a very Merry Christmas! This Morrison clan sure did! We spent the day at my marvelous mother-in-law's house and got to spend the day exchanging some presents, eating some food, and taking some naps. 

 

Josh spent the morning perfecting his Christmas ham on the Green Egg [insert "green eggs and ham" joke].  I had nothing to do with this process other than smelling the goodness and testing the tastes.  Josh used something like bourbon and brown sugar to glaze the ham...wow!

 

 

We had a great time visiting with family. I just can't get over how down-to-earth and absolutely hilarious Josh's side of the family is. They are cooouuuntry through and through :) Probably my favorite part was seeing Josh's nephew, Bobby, and his wife, Cassie. While we've kept in touch with them over the last couple of years, we haven't had the chance to see them in forever. Cassie looked beautiful as always and Bobby had his same charming sense of humor. We wish all the best for this young married couple!

 

 

 

Oh - and my other favorite part?  Well, duh...when Josh's mom busted out all the old family photos. Just sit back, scroll down, and enjoy:

 

 

 

What. A. Stud. Merry Christmas, everybody :)

 



Ugly Sweater Party

Our good friend, Dustballs, held his second annual Ugly Sweater Party this past Saturday. It turned out to be a total blast, and we had way too much fun finding sweaters for the event this year!  Check it out:

 

(Also, please do not judge our present-less tree. #bahhumbug)

 

The party was truly a great time.  Dusty put tons of effort into the occasion.  I absolutely fell in love with his house, and it looked like an interior decorator staged it for a magazine spread. Apparently there were some pretty good drinks like "Santa Came Early in My Mouth" shots...but I more so enjoyed the sandwiches, pizza, and these amaaaaazing brownies:

 

As to be expected, our friends went all out on the "ugly." I'm so blessed to have these weirdos in my life (I think?).

 

 

 

 

Instead of "ugly," there were a few of us that went the more "inappropriate" route. Humping reindeer seemed to be quite the popular theme. We are definitely not making Santa's "Nice" list this year...

 

 

Then there was this guy...

 

But the ugliest sweater of the night?

 

ohhhhh my gooshhhhh. Wes took the hubs back 21 years in time! Break me off a piece of that mullet!

 

 

The party ended up getting pretty crunk and this sober preggers called it quits at about 9:45.

 

Dustballs - we so very much appreciate your hospitality and especially your yummy brownies!

 

 

Merry Christmas Eve, everybody!! :)

 

 



Petey's Retirement

 

Hands down, without a doubt, the Morrisons' best friend in the whole wide world is a one...Petey Perryman. Now I know about half of Knoxville makes this same claim about Petey...that he is their best friend, and I guess we can deal with this.  But that's the kind of guy Petey is - he is beloved by everybody he comes in contact with. And all of us are trying to figure out why we love him so much because quite frankly...he is absolutely as inappropriate and offensive as it gets.

 

Like, if you're a dude...hide your girlfriends, your children, your wives, and especially your mothers because Petey is going to flirt and probably win that chick over. And somehow, he is going to win the dude over in the process. It's really unbelievable...

All of this social talent makes for an utterly successful salesperson, and Petey has knocked the last 17 years out of the park in that regards. Josh and I have had the (dis)pleasure of working with Petey at the same company for the past several years, and I hate to admit it...but his sales numbers can't be touched. In fact, Josh and I basically have to combine our numbers together so we can claim victory against him.

Sadly for us, but not so sadly for Petey, he announced his retirement last month as he was offered a partnership with a marketing firm that he just could not refuse. We had our annual work Festivus party at the Roo last Thursday, and we celebrated his "unofficial" retirement party while there.

Yep...that's pretty much our dear Petey in a nutshell.

On his last day, his office left him with this:

Y'all...$132 MILLION dollars in sales during his career. Now that's something to be proud of.

Petey...you make us laugh harder than anyone else out there, and we're so lucky to call you a friend. Thank-you for not leaving us permanently...I know we'll see you like four days a week at the Roo. Best of luck to you in your next adventure. We love you to pieces. Oh and one more thing! HEY LADIES...the Petey is single and ready to mingle :)


Maternity Monday: Can I Puh-leeze Have Some Cheese With My Whine?

So my husband is pretty much a saint when it comes to dealing with me.  Like...he knows how to bring me back down to Earth when I get overly happy about something.  And he knows (for the most part) how to calm me down when I get overly angry at every little thing. I've thrown him for a loop, though, with this whole third trimester preggersville thing:

 

I. can't. stop. whining. 

 

Y'all...it's gotten to the point where I whine about whining. I consider myself to be a pretty dang decent problem solver...and I HATE to feel sorry for myself. But preggersville has taken my misery to a whole new level that I'm just having trouble dealing with. 

 

So for this one night (or at least the twenty minutes it takes me to type this blog), I'm going to spare my poor husband from listening to my moaning and whining and bitching.  And since Mom is the only person that will read this, let me just send my advanced apologies to her.

 

I recently had a conversation with Josh about the complaints he hears the most outta me, and he easily spouted out my top ten. Here goes:

 

10. I don't feel good.

Look...I just don't.

 

9. My feet hurt.

A lot.

 

8. My knees hurt.

My rampant weight gain is totally catching up with my bones.

 

7.I'm tired.

The tile floor looks like a fluffy bed at this point.

 

6. I want a beer.

and a glass of wine. and a grape-bomb. and some fireball. and some moonshine. all at the same time.

 

5. I have to pee.

like four times since I've started typing this blog.

 

4. We're out of milk.

and it MUST be Horizon organic 2%

 

3. I just want a hug. Don't touch me.

It's confusing for me too, okay?

 

2. This is taking too long.

Like...I'm preggers...isn't the world supposed to stop what they're doing to appease me? 

 

1. I'm fat.

ugh...it's so true.

 

So there you have it. Now read this list about every 45 minutes for the next 7 weeks...and you'll know exactly what Josh is putting up with.  Or don't...but in the meantime, at least pray for his sanity :)

 



White Elephant Party

Last Sunday, a bunch of total idiots near and dear friends of mine got together for a brunch and White Elephant gift exchange.  I have to take at least an eensy weensy bit of credit for this idea as it all started when I was at Staples and saw an affordable keychain breathalyzer. Instead of buying 16 of those suckers for all my friends, it hit me that we should totally do a gift exchange. We somehow managed to get our cluster-mess group of friends to all agree on a time and place - and we let the drama ensue!

 

The location was The Grill at Highlands Row in West Knoxville, and it did not disappoint. Everyone seemed to be preeeetty hungover from the night before, and the $3 beverages certainly helped out with the headaches. I can't speak for the beverages (the water was meh), but the food was delish!

 

Props to our buddy my arch nemesis, Patrick, for setting up the private room. And I think everyone said a little prayer for a good gift beforehand:

 

 

 

A couple of friends were extra festive for the event. Kudos to them??

 

 

Aaaand then there were friends that put like...zero effort into the event. This was to be expected from Petey:

 

I took a few pre-exchange pictures...before the stealing and backstabbing and tears...back when we were all friends:

 

Don't ask...

After our meal, we let the games begin. Julia offered/demanded to be the moderator. In addition to being the boss-lady, she also insisted that she bring the numbers. We initially thought this was a pretty lame contribution to the party; however, these "numbers" that we drew were legit. Like...festive. And stickers.  Gotta give the girl some props:

 

Lane kicked off the event, and it all went downhill from there:

 

 

There was vodka. There was fireball.  There was a beer belt. There was a box of douches (thanks for that, Dustballs). There was a lottery ticket or two. There was a lot of ridiculousness. There was even a blow up doll and a penis pump.  And let's just say that those items are to never be seen or spoken about again. In fact, I'm afraid I've said too much already...

 

 

The most popular item though?  A freaking grumpy cat blanket.  THREE OUT OF SIXTEEN PRESENTS, Y'ALL. This was not even planned. I would say "great minds think alike" but I refuse to give that kind of credit to Josh, Lane, and Scott.

 

The worst part? The freaking sweetest duo (a fellow preggers included) got to take home TWO of them.  Sorry Ben and Jess. Enjoy your snuggle time?? :(

 

And of course we all ended up where we swore we wouldn't....the Roosters. That's where the breathalyzer became a big hit.  As expected, I think everyone got just a little bit more drunk than normal.  Proud preggers over here blew a 0.00 #props

 

 

All in all, it was a fun event. Can't wait to see who gets the penis pump next year...

 

 

Love these losers. Cheers :)